As I write this, I’m lying on the one piece of furniture we have left, baby strapped to my chest in a light slumber. The house is barren and a little cold, and I’m longing for some normalcy. Outside the raindrops put put put on the windowpane, and the icy chill of the morning drifts inside when I open the door.
At this point, the word stress has taken on a whole new meaning. What I’ve been feeling is off the spectrum of stress; it’s another beast entirely. It’s slowly turning me into a monster of emotions and I’m ready to snap at a moment’s notice.
Maybe I’ve given up my power, I think. And my mind follows up with I most definitely have.
You see, we’re in the process of relocating from Folsom to Sacramento and selling our condo. We’ve also got an eight-week-old baby and a busy business to run. We’re not entirely sure what we were thinking, but now that everything’s in the garage, the carpets have been cleaned, the walls have been painted and our place is going on the market March 1st (plus we have a serious lack of furniture since we’ve cleared the place out as much as possible) it would be more stressful to back out. Plus, it’s a fantastic market to sell it, so there’s that. When this is over it will be completely worth it.
Until then? I haven’t been the most pleasant to be around. I’ve let my stress get the best of me and tear me up inside. I’ve blown up about the smallest things and had marathon sob sessions.
The weight of perfection sits atop my shoulders like bricks, weighing me down until I sink into the pavement with the smallest step.
It’s not worth it. I’d rather chase growth than perfection.
So, I breathe a sigh of relief and let it go. The expectations that are hungry for outside approval. The weight of a forced smile. The clenching of a jaw in subconscious unrest.
And with this surrender, I’m inspired to write again after months of a block from a cocktail of life, busy-ness, and poor stress management. Crazy how that happens right?
Today’s message is simple: I want to inspire you to be imperfect. It’s the best way to live and grow. Chasing perfection is a one way street to Frustrationville. If you’ve been part of our tribe for any length of time you know how much we value physical, mental AND emotional health equally.
On your journey to health and wellness, the head stuff is just as important.
Seriously! It will make or break your ability to hit your goals in the first place. Your mind is the engine; take care of it.
Here are a few ways to thrive and embrace the suck, inspired by my own recent shortcomings (that morphed into growth):
#1 Recognize your resilience.
Now say that ten times fast! Just kidding. Think back to some of the most challenging moments in your life. During, they felt impossible and consumed you. After, you dusted off and kept on going. Whether or not you realized it, your resilience came out and fought against the notion of just giving up. Often times we brush this off as no big deal, but it’s the biggest deal of all. How is it that we somehow know exactly how to put out the fire once it starts (because we’re forced to), but don’t give ourselves credit before then? In moments of dire stress, we somehow find a way to make it out on the other side, but wouldn’t ever imagine we harnessed that power until we are suddenly forced to use it. That deserves credit and a serious pat on the back. Celebrate your strength even when it’s not in use and you’ll become unstoppable. Feeling more confident in your badass-ness yet?
#2 Understand that the solution to stressful situations lies in your surrender.
At one point during this process, I just laughed. It was a good hearty laugh that took up the room and made me smile ear to ear. That moment, my friend, was called surrender. Instead of fighting every step of the way, I let my walls tumble down. And what they revealed was something magical: it’s all going to be okay! What I fear now will do one of three things:
A) Not even happen.
B) If it does happen, it won’t be nearly as bad as I thought.
C) If it is as bad as I thought it still won’t really be as bad as I thought because I’ll have the tools (remember that resilience paragraph above) to work it out.
There is hope in surrender.
It allows you to live in the present moment (the best place to be), not be fearful and resistant and instead be inspired by positive actions and solutions.
#3 Always ask “what can I learn?”
When life is hitting you with a 1-2 punch, it feels most logical to put on a pair of boxing gloves and wail aimlessly. You’ve gotta defend yourself, right? But what is all of that really doing? In your race to fight things off, you’re missing the opportunity to grow and learn. Instead of feeling hopeless and down, what if you asked the simple question “what can I learn?”There is growth in literally every “problem”. You’ve just gotta be open to it. The next time you feel like wailing aimlessly with your thoughts, step back and make a list of three things you are learning in the process. I’ll give you an example so this exercise sticks. During this move/new baby/business period of life, I’ve learned:
1. I’m much stronger than I thought. I’m juggling a TON of stuff and still standing. This gives me fuel for future “stress”. My newfound strength will carry me through.
2. It’s best not to overload one’s plate. So in the future, I’ll set better boundaries with myself and take on less at a time.
3. Life really isn’t so bad. The things I’m stressed about are all things that ultimately bring me joy. I just need to re-frame and realize the hard part is almost over.
If I’ve Inspired even a tiny iota of confidence in you today, I’m a happy woman. Always remember: in the quest for physical milestones, don’t forget about what’s going on inside your head. Keep that engine healthy and LEARN instead of resisting all the way to panic. You’ve got this. I’ve got this. WE’VE got this. Stumble we may, but get back up we must.
Dedicated to your success,
Christina Sanghera
About Inspired Wellness
We are a wellness movement aimed at cultivating greatness in all areas of life. We believe that everything is connected and that having the body of your dreams shouldn’t come at the price of your mental and emotional health. You CAN have it all; you just need some determination, grit and the desire to truly change your life!
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12 Comments
Thanks so much
I know it is hard, and sometimes our mind just make it harder.
I think the hard part foe me is surrender and I am trying to learn that.
Thanks one more time
Wow, very compelling read. Your #1 “Recognize your resilience” took me way back to a hard time when my dad was in his final stages of pancreatic cancer and made me remember all the stuff/arrangements I had to do during that difficult time and I was able to power through. Sometimes I forget I am a resilient person. Thanks for bringing me back.
The tip to surrender really resonated with me! I have been at that point of stress in life where it feels like “what else can go wrong” and sometimes it just helps to take a deep, breath and just surrender yourself. To give up control because some things you just cant control. I do agree that there is a power in that. I really appreciate reading that tip and feel is is very valuable to go about life’s stresses that way.
Thank you for the article. It helps keeping me grounded.
I recognize I am very resilient. I have withstand many failure and many success. It somewhat levels out. Getting to the point where I recognize I need to surrender to the stress is still difficult to do early in the situation but it does work for most situation. Most of my stress makes me rage and bottle up negative energy. Exercise have been a great release for my stress.
Thank you for opening up to us about your struggles Christina! This was very helpful in navigating my current stresses and for the future. Specifically, “there’s hope in surrender.” Sometimes we just got to “let it go”(in my Frozen voice) and allow ourselves the peace and attention “right now” needs and deserves. Refocusing my energy on the current positives in my life will give me the power I need to keep going today.
We are much stronger than we think. We load ourselves up with so many tasks and responsibilities that we can’t breathe. I do this all the time. Everything still gets done, but damn I’m tired. And I beat myself up when something isn’t completed. We are human. Our “stuff” sill get done when it gets done. That’s what I tell myself.
My stress go-to was always fight or flight; unfortunately I routinely chose flight and ran from the issue.
I’m learning to stay in the moment, breathe, remember how resilient I am, and push through.
No, it is never as bad as you think it will be. Anticipating anxiety is my routine. I want to break that.
Love this article. It resonates so much with what I’ve been feeling for the last year or so. There were days when I just thought I wouldn’t make it through. And then I did. I’ve learned over the last year that all these horrible feelings and experiences I’ve had lately just make me work harder to be better for myself. I used to have the wrong priorities and I had to learn that I should be my main priority. It’s hard, and there are some days I struggle, but I am worth it.
YOU ARE WORTH IT, girl. Keep on keepin on. Glad this resonated with you.
Tha k you sharing your experience, and providing a reminder of the resilience within each of us. I will make an effort to “recognize the resilience” and remind myself that I’ve gotten through previous difficulties and will get thru future ones just the same.
This can be a really excellent read personally, Must admit that you are among the finest bloggers I ever saw.