It’s time we talk about the elephant in the room, darlin: your addiction to STRESS! Does withdrawing from a stressful state feel like a completely foreign thing? Do you feel like you’ve identified with your stress for so long that it’s the only way you know how to live?
Not long ago, I discovered that I, too, am totally and completely addicted to being stressed out. Me and stress are BEST BUDS. My automatic reaction to pretty much every situation is to worry and stress about the outcome. I spend so much energy doing this that I’m taking valuable energy away from actually figuring out a solution and putting out GOOD energy to attract more of the same.
It’s easy for this to happen; we live in a world where being busy is a badge of honor. Ask the average person how their life is going and what’s the typical response?
“Oh, I’m sooo busy. Life is SO busy”.
There’s a self-destructive streak in all of us, and when it starts to take over your life and dismantle the good stuff, it’s time to take action and take back your power. You are NOT living a more meaningful or important life because you’re busy. The opposite is true, because being busy all the time eventually derails us. But even more important? Being STRESSED all the time totally knocks us off our game.
Take today for example.
I had a whole day planned and was going to get a BUNCH of stuff done. Then, life happened and I had to take care of some things unexpectedly. My whole schedule for the day got thrown off. My initial gut reaction was to freak out: why me, I can’t handle this, OMG.
THEN (here’s where the light bulb turned on) I thought of three things I was grateful for that related to that particular situation, and it completely and totally shifted my mindset and made me realize that just like a drug I have become addicted to stress. There’s this high of feeling super frenetic and frazzled and the inevitable crash that follows, and it’s never worth it to be in a constantly stressed out state.
So, I decided to take action. Here’s what I’m going to do every single time my default reaction is to stress about things that I saw coming, didn’t see coming or just in general:
I’m going to think of THREE things to counteract that PERCEIVED stressful situation.
Example:
-You wake up late because your alarm didn’t go off and now you feel like your day is going to suck and you’re going to have a panic attack and really stress out because of it. I deal with anxiety so I get that. So, what are three things in that situation that you can be thankful for?
Maybe you’re thankful that you have a job to go to that morning. Yeah you’re going to be late, but you have a job to go to.
Maybe you’re thankful for the drive to work because that’s your time to listen to your favorite podcasts, that’s the time you call your mom and you’re thankful for having a mom to call and connect with.
You can get as deep as you like with this exercise. The point is to start to deflate that default reaction of stress and think of three positive things to counteract it. If you want to make it stick, you could write it down in a notebook or the notes section of your phone.
This exercise really, really helped me today and I went from 60 to 0 very quickly which is saying something, because I tend to get stuck in a loop and get myself to a place where I’m so stressed that I can feel the physical effects; labored breathing, fast heart rate, clammy hands.
So ask yourself: are you addicted to stress? Is your default to be stressed out and think of problems for your solutions instead of solutions for your problems? Sometimes I can be that person, and I don’t want to be that person.
Try this method on for size. I guarantee you it will change your day and your life over time when you do it consistently because you will re-wire your brain to stop defaulting to freakout mode, and to no longer wear busy as a badge of honor. You’ll start to step in stride with life, go with the motions … instead of always fighting against the tide.
I sincerely hope this works for you. Will you do me a favor? Let me know in the comments below that you’re committed to trying it this week! Oh, and I’ve got a bonus for you: want to put these strategies into action in a TANGIBLE way? Check out my free worksheet so you can STOP stress in its tracks. Go here to claim yours!
19 Comments
People don’t realize that they can be addicted to behaviors and negative feelings the same way they can be addicted to food, drugs, sex, and shopping. I’m glad you addressed this and thank you for giving advice on how to deal with this as well.
I think we can all relate to this if we really stop and think about it. When I get into a heavy work groove, I find that I actually don’t know what to do with myself when I get caught up with what I need to finish.
I am a psychologist and I totally relate to it. People can be addicted to stress, I have seen some myself. One need to stop and think that what they are doing is right or not.
This is such a positive post. Yes, I deal with stress. And I don’t like it a bit. When I’m in the situation , I start doing jigsaw puzzle. 🙂
i can def relate to this! finding a healthy balance of stress can be tough and i tend to go deep. Great post!
Stress can really mess you up and lead to cardiovascular disease. It’s so important to take charge of our health and wellness.
Girl! This is some serious wisdom!! I am soooo that person that gets derailed so easily and its such a shame! I will really try this method though because it sounds really doable!
Great information. I definitely fall into the stress trap when I get up late.
I sure hope I am not! Some of the things I do make me stressed, but that is not why I do it. It is a struggle sometimes.
It is so true! i often feel like people are addicted to stress, they seam to look for it, they just don’t want to live calm and peaceful
I often think about how people wear stress (or constantly working & barely sleeping) like a badge as you say. It can be detrimental not to take care of ourselves. Practicing graditude is so important & I think doing it when we’re stressed is something we should all do.
I definitely used to be. I loved being busy. It was my livelihood until one day balance and self care became my life focus!
I have to admit, that when I first saw this title – I was thinking to myself, “who on earth could be addicted to stress?” But I’m so glad that I gave this a read. I, too, am “addicted” to stress, not by choice – just by the sheer fact that the last 5 years of my life have been so stressful that I really don’t know how to stop stressing, but thank you for this post. I need to try your tips.
OMG I never thought of stress this way before. But you could be on to something here.
I love this! I recognise I do have an issue in the way I deal with stress. I’ll certainly be trying out these methods, thank you!
What a great and informative post. Lately, I have been feeling stress and not knowing that in my everyday life I am already addicted to it. Stress is a serious mind and body illness that can affect how we think.
As an attorney, I feel like stress has been a way of life. This is a great reminder to step back and reflect before going in a downward stress spiral.
This is a great post – I can so relate to it. Stress can definitely be addicting. And thanks for the helpful tips for reframing your negative thoughts!
Good reminder to not get sucked into the stress vortex! Work is the source of most of my stress. When things go crazy, I’ve started thinking more about how what I do helps the end user, and that gives me a few minutes to stop the spinning in my brain and organize myself with a useful plan to move forward.